Thursday, September 27, 2012

Does everything happen for a reason?

Many people believe everything happens for a reason.  Others say that to make themselves feel better when something goes wrong or they don’t get something they want, such a book sale, agent representation, new job, client or booking, or a house.  Sometimes we wonder what that reason is, or when or if we'll find out.
There are quotes on the topic, a song, blog posts and assorted books about it.

Most of us know people who, for example, lost their jobs, got divorced or didn't get into their first choice college.  They were unhappy at the time and perhaps uncertain about the future.  They might have tried to ease the sting with clichés such as “bad things happen to good people."  But soon after, they found another job that paid more money and/or they liked better, or they met someone better to and for them, or loved the college they did get in.  In cases such as these, it’s easier to believe that EHfaR. 

Unpleasant things happen that we can’t control.  We can benefit and grow by dealing with them in healthy ways.  Other bad things happen because we don’t take steps to stop them.  We make bad choices.  Some trust in and rely on EHfaR when, for example, they fritter days away instead of working, even though they can’t afford to, or they drink, shop, or eat too much.  Because they frequently choose the high of instant gratification, of what is or seems like fun at the time, they may repeatedly pay the price with, perhaps, hangovers that impact their abilities to be productive the next day or more credit card debt...and more interest owed.  What’s the reason then?

Admitting that we’ve made mistakes or are engaging in self-destructive, self-defeating behaviors is difficult.  Accepting or finding and utilizing help can be even more challenging. 

We may never know the reason why good or bad things happen or people do what they do.  Maybe sometimes there isn’t one.   

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