Thursday, September 23, 2010

No news is…?

Whether you’ve applied for a job, sent a requested writing submission, had an audition, entered a writing contest, or completed a job and want to know about feedback/revisions, you have to wait for a response. You’ve done all you can do. Now it’s up to the employer, editor/agent/casting person/judges, etc.

I find that waiting can be difficult and stressful. Why? Mabye because I have no control over what the response will be, or even when I'll get one. There’s no work left for that particular task, no obligation or pressure on my part, yet sometimes I have to make an effort to stop wondering when or if I’ll find out. I need to let any thoughts of that thing go so I can focus on current projects. So I can live in the present moment, and not think about all the possible “what if” futures. Many advise that life is about the journey, not the outcome. Hmmm.

I may never have closure on some irons I put in the fire; some agents/editors, for example, say they won’t respond unless they’re interested. And I don’t know when they’ll even get to my submission to make that determination. Usually the only ways I find out I didn’t book an acting gig is if I happen to hear through the grapevine that a friend got it or when the shoot date passes.

When there’s a promised time frame for a reply, letting go of waiting can be even harder. Because the closer the deadline gets without a response, the more you know one is on its way. I’m currently waiting to hear about something pretty big. Every time my phone makes the incoming email sound, I wonder if it’s the news. Yet I check with a bit of trepidation, wanting the answer to be in my inbox, yet at the same time not wanting to know…to keep the dream alive, the door open? Hope is definitely better than rejection. And it can be easier than good news, which in this case will require a lot of work and a lot of change--fun, exciting and scary at the same time.

Lo and behold, last night during a rehearsal break I saw an email from the person I’ve been waiting on bated breath to hear from. I steeled myself to read it…and found not an answer but a question. Whew. The waiting begins…again.

As they say, a watched pot never boils…good things come to those who wait…
Waiting is not mere empty hoping. It has the inner certainty of reaching the goal.
- I Ching

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